Blessed Week

I am on the up-side this week.  Last week I was complaining a lot.  I think I was just being very self centered.  This week has been great.  It's basically the same week, except I have been trying to focus on helping others and enjoying the little things.  Serena and I have had a lot of play dates, which fill the days with fun and laughter and friendship.  The weather is perfect, so we have had a few walks too.  I am constantly trying to remind myself that I am lucky and to trust god's plan for me.  I need to keep up with this good feeling and hopefully next week I can add in some activities that inspire me, like practicing my guitar more and continuing to spend time reading and learning.
Things of note this week:
1.  We are looking at houses tomorrow, how exciting to have a yard soon!
2.  I have had exercise for 2 weeks straight now...and it feels great to be getting back into it
3.  My dear friend Heather's birthday was yesterday and I volunteered to babysit for her so she could have a night out with her husband after 2 years of no date.
4.  I am joining a softball team with friends that will start in March.

So cheers to the weekend and I hope all of you can stay positive and helpful to others!

Thoughts on Church

Happy Sunday!
I was in desperate need of mass this morning.  I knew that this week was not my best and no matter how hard I tried to get out of my funk and focus on the good, the only thing that was going to get me right again was attending church.  There is something to be said for being in the church.  I know a lot of people who love god but hate the church.  I used to think that the church was useless, I admit it.  I thought god and Jesus had more interest in my belief and love for them, than WHERE  I was while believing and loving.  I realize more and more, that there is so much power in the church.  When I go, I feel "right".  I know that the presence of god is abundant and that there is power in the prayers of so many.  Although I cannot partake in the Eucharist yet, I know that what I feel and say and do during mass matters.  The church provides a love that no other place can provide.  The church is female and nurturing, loving, womb-like.  It is a safe place to share your hopes and fears and tears.  I cannot see how anyone would not enjoy that.  I am ready to take on this coming week.  I am ready to pray more and treat each day as a gift (our homily was about time and living positively in the present).  I am thankful for those of you who comment on my posts.  I am in this learning phase and there is so much more I need to learn and I ponder each comment and stow it away in the church in my head.
God Bless.

January 18th 2012

Holy in the Ordinary 

How often do we relegate to God only those things in which we feel he should have a say, yet exclude him from the ordinary things in life? 

— from The Bible's Best Love Stories


*****
I am just so blah today.  I am in a wednesday funk.  I had a pretty good morning, I went for a walk at the park with my new friend Katie and our babies.  The weather is just so icky out and I can't seem to open my eyes all the way today.  It's days like today where I wish I were more devout.  I need to start making these days about being thankful and happy about what I a blessed with.  It's so hard not to just wallow in myself.  I have no reason to feel this way and I feel like I also have no reason to not feel this way.  It's really very selfish.  Serena is down for a nap now and I can't bring myself to do anything productive.  Should we allow ourselves these days? Do I need to power through this and get up and do something productive?  Like the minute meditation quote above, I too often exclude god from ordinary life.  Today doesn't get more ordinary.  I need to figure out how to relegate God to today, to make today special and meaningful.  It seems these daily emails I get are really on spot lately.  A little nudge in the right direction.

Today's Saint

I get the daily saints email from americancatholic.org and I really liked the saint today, John the Gardener.  It's funny because my best friend's husband is re-doing their yard today, mostly so we can have her bridal shower there.  She sent me this picture this morning:

the transformation begins

It's funny how god works.  I got this picture and then the email, signs that I should pray for the success and peaceful completion of their project.  It's cool to be able to start using the saints as your prayer helpers.

Here is the post about John the Gardener:

Saturday, January 14, 2012 Servant of God John the Gardener (d. 1501) John was born of poor parents in Portugal. Orphaned early in life, he spent some years begging from door to door. After finding work in Spain as a shepherd, he shared the little he earned with those even more needy than himself.One day two Franciscans encountered him on a journey. Engaging him in conversation, they took a liking to the simple man and invited him to come and work at their friary in Salamanca. He readily accepted and was assigned to the task of assisting the brother with gardening duties. A short time later John himself entered the Franciscan Order and lived a life of prayer and meditation, fasting constantly, spending the nights in prayer, still helping the poor. Because of his work in the garden and the flowers he produced for the altar, he became known as "the gardener." God favored John with the gift of prophecy and the ability to read hearts. Important persons, including princes, came to the humble, ever-obedient friar for advice. He was so loving towards all that he never wanted to take offense at anything. His advice was that to forgive offenses is an act of penance most pleasing to God. He predicted the day of his own death: January 11, 1501. COMMENT: A monastery garden was tended well to feed the community, not to make the grounds pretty. John saw to it that the refectory table was well supplied. But he also added a bit of beauty, growing flowers to enhance the chapel. God is surely pleased when we add a bit of beauty to the world—especially when we warm it with an act of forgiveness. For, as John insisted, forgiveness is the loveliest thing in God’s eyes.

Is this mic on?

I had this post in my head last night lying in bed. I was trying to pray, for those I love and patience and things like that. I realized that now that I am becoming a catholic, I have no idea how to pray like one. I also can't pray out loud and never really felt comfortable doing that. Take Grace for instance, at meal time, I am so shy about it and I always feel like I'm not saying the right words. It's probably because my husband, a cradle catholic, says his Grace like those guys that host auctions. I feel like now that I am supposed to start learning and using the saints to intercede in prayer, that I am missing some connecting words...specific "trigger" words that will actually get their attention.
Is it not enough to just pray to god? All of my 30 years of prayers have been straight to god. I never thought of praying to his son (who I learned is really him, consubstantial). I never thought to pray to saints. I like the idea, I am not complaining, I just don't know how. I have prayer cards, but how do you just pray your own? I always start with "Dear God" and then I ramble some thoughts in my head of people I love and things I wish would happen.

Any tips or examples you can share?

My Epiphany Post

It seems most of the catholic blogs I follow have had very compelling posts about the Epiphany, today's holy day.  I wasn't going to write anything, mostly because I just really found out from monsignors homily, what it is about.  Then I read this blog post by The Priest's Housekeeper and I was moved to write one too. Before I quote her, I want to go back to what stuck with me that monsignor said.  He said Christmas is the small intimate celebration of Jesus, just Mary, Joseph, the baby Jesus and a couple of shepherds.  Epiphany, is the international celebration of Jesus, that was celebrated by many people of all intellects and backgrounds to see the new king.  That really made the Epiphany make sense in my mind.  
Back to The Priest's Housekeeper, this paragraph at the end really got me:


Could it be that your Epiphany was the day you looked down at your first born and saw the wonder of new life. Maybe it was the time you kept vigil at the beside of a loved one who was dying and you experienced the sorrow of parting, but also joy that death is not the end. Perhaps it was that day you said, “I love you” and knew that it was about more than just romance or physical attraction. Or could it have been the moment you really believed your life was sacred, and you gave it gladly in the service of Our Lord? 
These are milestones, the stories of our lives, epiphanies that forever change who we are, how we live, and the road we travel. They are moments of ordinary everyday life in which divinity is revealed in humanity and we see God’s glory face to face.

My daughter and I yesterday

I did have an epiphany when I saw my daughter for the first time.  It was definitely a holy moment for me, in an otherwise unholy time in my life.  Also, when my great-grandad (who raised me) past in 2008, I remember being by his bedside at the hospital, smelling him and touching his thin bruised skin, and feeling very very close to god at that moment.  Finally, I often argue with my husband, and it is in those times that I can apologize and give up on my grip of power and pride, that I also feel very close to god.  I agree that in these moments, I have seen god's glory face to face, it is an epiphany, and it is wonderful.

On being a sinner

I definitely agree with the Catholic view, or really Christian view, of being sinners.  I do believe that we all sin.  It is pretty simple really.  If we didn't sin, the world would be a perfect place with love abounding and hate would be non-existant.  We may not all be murderers or adulterers, but we do our share.  I have many sins, most of which I am very excited to confess during my first confession when I am confirmed.  Most of my sins though, are ones that I do often and cannot just confess away.  I think the important thing is to realize that you are a sinner, it's not that bad, we all are.  We just need to sin less and less and then the world will eventually be a better place.
I have said many times how hard it is, as the week goes further from Sunday morning, to keep our faith, to keep from sinning so much.  It is just something we should all be aware of, Christian or not.  Everyone should be a better person, not just those around us that we complain about, but ourselves.  I find it hard to not internalize other's problems.  It is a tough skill to learn to be happy with yourself while helping others, but not making their problems yours.

Minute Meditation 1/3/12

In Faith We have the gift of faith, the supernatural ability to believe what God has revealed, to trust him for everything, and to expect him to intervene in our lives. — from Living the Sacraments ********************* Faith is so positive, but I always feel like I have to keep my faith to myself, like it's a negative thing.  Why has religion become such a hot button subject?  Faith in your religion, any religion, should be discussed with joy and understanding and love.  I should be proud to tell my friends and family about my faith, mostly because it makes me happy and content.  My loved ones only want me to be happy, and so they should be overjoyed to hear about my faith and how it is affecting me positively.  Faith in anything is always a great thing.  We should all make sure that we keep our faith and are not ashamed to share it.