Epiphany

I didn't attend mass this morning, I am super sick.  I intended to, but I woke up late and when I did, Alex said "you're not going to church".  He took Serena though.  So, I watched a mass video on EWTN and I am reading about the solemnity, since this is still my first year as a catholic.  You know, I have to be honest, as a new catholic, the main feast days/solemnities are pretty confusing.  The names...Epiphany, Ascension, Assumption, etc...
I always have to look it up, and of course, once I go to mass and hear the homily, I get it better. 
There was a nice quote on EWTN under the readings for today:

To keep a lamp burning we have to keep putting oil in it.
-- Mother Teresa

How true is that?  It not only reminds me of the fact that I need to keep my faith light burning bright, but also my marriage light lit.  I really enjoyed the celebration of the holy family, was that last Sunday?  That was a great homily because I often forget how important my little family is. My little trinity family...Alex, me and Serena.  This won't last long, since we are adding a 4th in May, baby Cecilia, named after my confirmation saint.  So it is even more important to keep the lamp lit, not only for the growth and prosperity of my relationship with Alex, but also for our two children...feels weird to say two!

So, on CatholicCulture.org they state that "three mysteries are encompassed in this solemnity: the adoration of the Christ Child by the Magi, the Baptism of Christ and the wedding feast at Cana.".  It's basically Jesus being presented to the world as the messiah, as the true son  of God.  This is a happy day...one I will sneeze and blow my nose through, but I will try to focus on this special day. 

Rosary Thoughts

For awhile now, Alex and I have talked about saying the rosary together.  That hasn't happened.  After I converted, this past Easter, I tried to start getting into it.  That fell by the wayside.  Last night I decided to start again.  It takes me awhile, since I don't know any of the mysteries and don't have all the prayers memorized.  It felt really good!
  I have been struggling with keeping the faith lately, mostly because CRHP is winding down and I don't have any enrichment classes and I am having a hard time getting into any heavy catholic books.  I was doing so great in RCIA class, reading all the time and always improving my knowledge of the faith.  I am determined to not let go of the importance of improving my catholic faith.
I figured the rosary would be a good jump start.
While I was saying the rosary last night, I was meditating on the glorious mysteries and that got me thinking.  Ever since I converted, I have had a hard time feeling the Jesus love.  I mean, I love Jesus, but I don't feel as connected to him as I do to God, or even the blessed mother.  Actually, I have made the most connection with the blessed mother, probably because I am a mother...I relate.
I think the biggest obstacle in truly having a relationship with Christ, is that even though he was man, he was not a sinner.  Sin is the one thing I have focused on as a new Catholic.  To divulge my sins, to try not to sin, to repair myself from my sins.  Jesus is so great...I can not relate.

So, I guess in this year of faith, I need to figure out Jesus.
Any suggestions on a good book?  I have one that the Pope wrote, but it is TOUGH to read.  I need an idiots guide to Jesus.  I know, I know...read the bible.  The bible is not always so easy to connect with.
Thanks for any input :)

Imitating Christ

Imitating Christ 

No one wants to sound silly or become something like a religious nut. If you choose to be a Christian, you will live, speak, and act as Christ does—but in your own way. You are who you are. You are special as you are. At the same time you are growing into a better, happier, and more peaceful you. 

— from Catholic and Confident
(from the minute meditations email)

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I think this has, and is, my biggest fear about being Christian: coming across legit.  Before I became Catholic, I guess I was Christian, but I wasn't a very good one.  I especially hated when people tried to convert me.  I believed in God.  Wasn't that enough?  It's uncomfortable when people try to talk religion to you, when it is not your religion.  I am getting over that though.  I have recently really enjoyed speaking with others about their religion.  It makes me realize that people that get uncomfortable speaking about theology, are the ones who don't know their own theology.  It always goes back to being self conscious, to not knowing who you are and then mirroring that negativity onto others.  Now that I feel more confidant in my faith and WHY I believe what I believe, I am more at peace talking about theology.  I know my purpose, I feel like I studied it  and in turn, earned it.

Minute Meditation 7/26

Moving Forward 

The desire to be a better person, to grow in love, compassion and forgiveness is the Word within urging us to grow into the likeness of God for which we have been created. When we actually engage in forgiveness, compassion and love, it is the Christ consciousness breaking through our lives. 

— from Wake Up to God's Word


*****


This is a great quote.  It is undeniable that our human hearts yearn to be happy and good.  For me, I am always trying to learn and better myself, I want to be the best "me" that I can be.  I think most people are like that.  If they are not, then they used to be, they just need to be reminded of the good in the world.  Humans have that desire and it doesn't just come from nowhere, it comes from God.  I challenge anyone to truly trust in God's plan and allow yourself to receive the love of God, it will change your life.  Do not forget that you are not alone.  Do not forget that God is with you and that you are special and have a purpose.

Discernment

Grapes in my parents-in-laws backyard

We had "Discernment Night" in my CRHP meeting last night.  We all sat in the chapel in prayer, listening to God's will for us, for what we can contribute to the next ladies retreat weekend.  I was feeling like I could do a lot of the topics to witness, especially the ones that deal with the newness of the faith (me being a newbie and all).  I am pretty easy going and willing to please others, so I wanted to just listen and see what the other women were thinking.  I knew that I wanted to take a lead in organizing the weekend.  I had such a profound feeling of love and warmth during our retreat and I wanted to pay it forward in a big way.  So I mentioned choosing "Discipleship" as a topic to witness on.  After I said it, Father Tim and one of our fearless leaders, Laura, both jumped at the chance to tell me that they had been thinking that all along, that I was the one for the job.  I felt at that moment both pressured and blessed...just kidding.  I truly felt like the process worked, God had definitely spoken up for me and to me.  Then I realized I had no idea what "Discipleship" meant.  I googled.  Basically, it is perfect for me, it is a student.  I have felt since day one of this conversion process, that I have been a student of the catholic faith and I love to enrich myself on the subject through books, DVDs the internet and so on.  In RCIA classes, Deacon Mike would always say that there is never enough learning to be done on the Catholic faith and that has proven to be more than true.  I have only scratched the surface of my studies and I love the endless information, the lifelong quest.  So I am excited to start working on my witness, so that I can hopefully touch someone's faith like so many others have touched mine.

Wedding #2

the running around 

My little family

"are you sure you want to marry me again?"

cute pic with Monsignor

my bridesmaids :)

Katie and Jonah

Wow.  The second wedding is never as good...is that a saying?  No, I am just kidding.  We had a wonderful validation ceremony.  We met at the church at 5pm.  We dressed up.  My friends Heather and Katie were our witnesses, with their little ones.  Serena ran around the church yelling the whole time, while Heather chased her.  I am sorry Heather, did you think I said that I needed a "witness"...no, I needed a "baby wrangler".  It was pretty short.  Monsignor was so relaxed about it and we didn't say the right stuff and fumbled with the rings and it was all just really comedic.  I told my mother-in-law on the phone after, that I didn't think it counted.  In all seriousness though, it felt great to make those vows again after 8 years of being together, 3 of them married.  We are no longer living in sin!  After the ceremony we went to EarthFare for dinner, a really quick circus dinner (kids eat free on thursdays) and then I rushed to church for the Holy Thursday mass...praying the while time that I wasn't late.  I cannot STAND to walk into a church late...everyone looking at you...judging you...like they know they are not supposed to.  It was a beautiful mass, I cried like a baby when we sang "Were you there?" during the offering.  I saw the feet washing.  We all left in silence.  It was a beautiful mass.  It was a great second wedding.  I am very blessed and glad Serena got to be at our wedding this time.

An American Saint

This was the saint of the day email I received today.  She was an amazing lady, and young lady.

Saturday, March 03, 2012

St. Katharine Drexel

(1858-1955)

If your father is an international banker and you ride in a private railroad car, you are not likely to be drawn into a life of voluntary poverty. But if your mother opens your home to the poor three days each week and your father spends half an hour each evening in prayer, it is not impossible that you will devote your life to the poor and give away millions of dollars. Katharine Drexel did that. She was born in Philadelphia in 1858. She had an excellent education and traveled widely. As a rich girl, she had a grand debut into society. But when she nursed her stepmother through a three-year terminal illness, she saw that all the Drexel money could not buy safety from pain or death, and her life took a profound turn.
She had always been interested in the plight of the Indians, having been appalled by what she read in Helen Hunt Jackson’s A Century of Dishonor. While on a European tour, she met Pope Leo XIII and asked him to send more missionaries to Wyoming for her friend Bishop James O’Connor. The pope replied, “Why don’t you become a missionary?” His answer shocked her into considering new possibilities.
Back home, Katharine visited the Dakotas, met the Sioux leader Red Cloud and began her systematic aid to Indian missions.
She could easily have married. But after much discussion with Bishop O’Connor, she wrote in 1889, “The feast of St. Joseph brought me the grace to give the remainder of my life to the Indians and the Colored.” Newspaper headlines screamed “Gives Up Seven Million!”
After three and a half years of training, she and her first band of nuns (Sisters of the Blessed Sacrament for Indians and Colored) opened a boarding school in Santa Fe. A string of foundations followed. By 1942 she had a system of black Catholic schools in 13 states, plus 40 mission centers and 23 rural schools. Segregationists harassed her work, even burning a school in Pennsylvania. In all, she established 50 missions for Indians in 16 states.
Two saints met when Katharine was advised by Mother Cabrini about the “politics” of getting her Order’s Rule approved in Rome. Her crowning achievement was the founding of Xavier University in New Orleans, the first Catholic university in the United States for African Americans.
At 77, she suffered a heart attack and was forced to retire. Apparently her life was over. But now came almost 20 years of quiet, intense prayer from a small room overlooking the sanctuary. Small notebooks and slips of paper record her various prayers, ceaseless aspirations and meditation. She died at 96 and was canonized in 2000.

Comment:
Saints have always said the same thing: Pray, be humble, accept the cross, love and forgive. But it is good to hear these things in the American idiom from one who, for instance, had her ears pierced as a teenager, who resolved to have “no cake, no preserves,” who wore a watch, was interviewed by the press, traveled by train and could concern herself with the proper size of pipe for a new mission. These are obvious reminders that holiness can be lived in today’s culture as well as in that of Jerusalem or Rome.

Quote:
“The patient and humble endurance of the cross—whatever nature it may be—is the highest work we have to do.” “Oh, how far I am at 84 years of age from being an image of Jesus in his sacred life on earth!” (St. Katharine Drexel)

(This entry appears in the print edition of Saint of the Day.)

CLICK HERE FOR PRINT VERSION

Minute Meditation12/13

The Right Afterthought 

How often we jump with enthusiasm into a project, then fade out as it becomes difficult. Sometimes there's virtue in the second thought, the delayed response, restraint rather than zeal. 

— from Catholic Update: Advent Day-by-Day


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That is me all summed up.  I am that girl.  My college degree?  Liberal Arts.  I couldn't pick just one thing.  I am always latching onto something that interest me, then I go all crazy about it for a week or month, and then I loose steam and fizzle out.  My current obsessions...sewing and baking (other than my catholic endeavors).  I was actually thinking last night, before I even got this email, that I hope I don't lose steam on my religious studies.  Then I remembered though, that there are infinite trains of thought about god and jesus, the bible and existence.  I really never get bored of it.  I just started to read catholic books recently, but I have always had conversations with god.  I have always had a love for church and god.  I am hoping...no I AM...going to use my studies in faith and being more christian to enhance my determination and perseverance in other areas, like baking and sewing.  Why lose steam?  I have so much time, so much life to live and there is no reason why I need to drop hobbies, there should be room in all of us for many joyful activities as well as room to improve in those areas.

Minute Meditation

Devotion to Angels 

If we sincerely want to do the right thing, angels can help us. So we should cultivate a devotion to the guardian angels. They're powerful spiritual beings who want us to succeed at being good. They want us to end up in heaven. 

— from Angels of God

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I get emails daily, from americancatholic.org, which I found through my parish's website, of "minute meditations".  It's basically the smallest and laziest way to have at least one moment of your day be about god.  I love it.  It would be nice if we could all be like Jesus all day, but that is not really possible for most of us.  I am taking this one day at a time, after all, we are all just sinners.  I am not in any way content in being a sinner, but I am aware that I am, and that is progress right?  

Today's minute meditation is not one that I can really meditate on...yet.  I have not been schooled in the ways of angels in my RCIA class yet, so this is something I will need to seek knowledge of.  I am just now getting the whole "saints" thing, which I am devouring books on, and really enjoying.  I am a little sad that I didn't have all these saints to look up to as a child, growing up protestant.  But, a family friend of ours a catholic, recently told me that the way I am going about it, is the right way.  She meant, that I am an adult, finding out the true meanings and teachings, and actually learning them and enjoying them fully.  I think that's what she meant.  So, angels will be my new task.