Retreat Notes

Words cannot explain how wonderful my CRHP (Christ Renews His Parish) retreat weekend was.  If you have the opportunity to attend one, you have to, it will change your life.  It was one of the best weekends of my life and although I am only 30 years in, I have had some pretty awesome weekends.  I want to share with you a couple of Journal entries that I wrote while there.  They are not meant to be amazing pieces of writing, but just an idea of the thoughts that come to your mind when relaxing at a retreat.  These women are so funny, we laugh all day.  Beautiful people.
I also wanted to mention that I received a letter of encouragement (HELP letter) from my cousin Jennifer and it was funny because the Proverb she chose to share with me, was exactly the proverb that I bookmarked the day before, that I thought was really cool.
Proverb 31, you can find it :)
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Journal Entry
Retreat Day 1 of 2
3pm

We are on  break half-way through day one of the CRHP weekend.  This retreat is beyond amazing...and it's free.  These women are just amazing, they are my new sisters.  I am so blessed to be able to hear testimonies of faith and spirituality and life from so many different women.  I feel the Holy Spirit coming over me and filling me with humility.  We have been given gifts of faith.  My cynic inside is losing ground.  I know that my inability to respect others beliefs in the past, was only the sinner inside me, the weak self-concious part of myself that wanted to stay in darkness.  Happiness and respect and growth are attributes that I want to convey, not a sarcastic judgmental side. I am looking around the room full of women, some like me, some not, yet we are all sisters and are all overcome with love for God.  How can that ever be seen negatively?  Why was I ever so cynical about faith?  There is only beauty and love in God's will.  I am hopeful that I can keep an open mind throughout the rest of this retreat, as I have done so far.  I realize that I use humor to express myself, people are always telling me how funny I am.  I have been realizing recently that you don't have to be a cynic or curse to be funny.  I guess I have just always associated humor with being a rebel.  In reality though, God has a wonderful sense of humor and he wants me to use mine for good.
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A little poem/blurb I wrote right after this last entry.

My name means rebirth.
Fate has brought me to him,
to be reborn in the spirit,
to live life to the fullest.
I am surrounded by love
I am blessed beyond belief,
that God has shown me the way,
the way back to Him.
Reborn in the name
accepted in the community,
sharing my life and focusing on good deeds.
Let us rejoice and be glad
that today we are clear
to see Jesus and know him
and thank our heavenly father for creating us.


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Journal Entry:
Retreat Day 2 of 2
Noon

I just opened a giant envelope of letters of love and encouragement from my dearest friends and family. One of the other women just joked "I don't want to leave!".  I agree.  This has really been one of the most important weekends of my life.  I feel like I need to have the word RETREAT tattooed on my body to remind me to come back to this place in my mind when I forget God's purpose.  There was a re-occuring theme in my "love letters", I heard a lot of praise of my relaxed nature and openness with others.  It's funny how I try to convey these attributes.  I try to make people comfortable because ideally, I yearn to be comfortable in myself.  Life is hard work, I know that.  I have many faults and sins, but the positivity that the letters expressed is really just me mirroring the love that I have received.  God is love and I have been immersed in great love this weekend, I want to stay swimming in this pool of grace forever!  I wish that I could force all of my loved ones to go to a retreat like this, whatever denomination they are.  Time out of this cloudy and fast-paced time is so detrimental to our society.  I urge you to take time to reflect on life, God and love, and try harder to be a better person.  You will be blessed for your efforts.  I have been.

Notes on the retreat

Food!

Me and Heather

stations of the cross, still haven't figured it out

view of stations of the cross outside

St. Thomas More, Tallahassee FL

St. Thomas More Tallahassee, FL

The woman's day of renewal I attended on Saturday was very uplifting.  I am glad I went.  I sort of had a breakthrough, as cheesy as it sounds, and I realized a lot about myself and the ability to pray and listen to God.  Father Tim gave 3 discussions, each one on the 3 Pillars of Lent; Prayer, Fasting and Alms-giving.  Mainly the day was for reflection and prayer and he talked about this analogy of the desert.  The desert being a place we shy away from with distractions like TV and that the desert within us is a place of thirst  and unrest, where we need to go to face ourselves and receive God's love and guidance.  I am paraphrasing here.  On fasting, he connected it to prayer and explained that we fast to obtain Jesus.  That we should be giving up our distractions and realizing that we don't need these things, we need God.  Father Tim joked about the things he gave up in the past and how giving up chocolate isn't really what God wants.  I am glad I gave up Facebook, that is a huge distraction and I have realized that I don't need it.  His third talk was about alms-giving  and that it's not just about giving to the poor, it is about praying and fasting and then giving our whole selves to others and especially God.  We are vessels of the love of God and when we give our selves to others (not sexually) but in time, talent and treasure, others can feel God's love as we do.  He summed it up by saying that prayer, fasting and alsm-giving go together and that when we practice these 3 things, it makes it easier for us to give love, that is what God is all about.

Women's Day of Renewal

Today I am going the another Parish, the co-cathedral of St. Thomas More, a beautiful church here in Tallahassee, for a Women's Day of Renewal.   This is the first event of this type that I will have ever attended.  I am really excited.  Father Tim, our young Father who is my age and went to school with a lot of my friends, will be the moderator.  I wish you all could hear him speak, he is uplifting and humble and funny.  I imagine there will be some women speakers too.  There will be breakfast and lunch, my kind of renewal.  There will also be mass and reconciliation, although I cannot take communion...I am so close!  I only have 2 more RCIA classes.  This is a very exciting time for my faith.  I also started reading a really good book, I will post on that later.  I am so lucky to have such an awesome church family and diocese, I am really feeling the love lately.  There are so many opportunities in our diocese for growth and renewal.  I hope that you can attend something like this in the near future.  I know I will have a great experience.
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On another note, with my lenten prayers, I am now praying for my best friend Suesan's brother Wayne who passed away at a young age of illness and also my brother's girlfriend's father.  I am so sorry for their losses, but one thing I love about the catholic church, is that the soul never dies and one day it will be reunited with our healthy bodies.  Our deceased loved ones are all around us and we can pray for them, even after death. 
This is a good daily minute meditation I got in my email from americancatholic.org:

Beyond Words

Just as our interpersonal relationships—whether they be with family, friends, or lovers—require us to communicate our whole selves beyond mere words, so too our relationship with God requires us to communicate our whole selves to our Creator.

— from Dating God